Kindness

Noticing:
Kindness

Consider a cup. Its form is created for the purpose of receiving, yet when full its purpose is to give. When hugging we open our arms to give and then this same gesture in turns becomes a flow of giving and receiving. When breathing we live in a flow state of giving carbon dioxide and receiving oxygen, and in turn plants breathe in a reciprocal flow state to ours. Kindness also includes this pattern as its nature.

In order to actively give kindness, we must also understand how to listen, allow, give space and have patience, all states of reception. Kindness therefore expresses a basic principle of life, the intrinsic flow of giving and receiving, an interconnecting dance. Kindness is the basic state of being we meet in building the habit of meditation. Kindness builds bridges, kindness is an agent of transformation. All humans benefit and are nourished by kindness, it is available by making the choice to be open to it, to enact it by surrendering to it.

In order to understand one another we must be kind. In order to benefit from suffering, we must allow the transformative and natural state of kindness to arise. When we receive and allow the experience of our own suffering to be felt in an open and vulnerable state, we are held in the embrace of kindness. This practice of surrender in our self experience builds the muscle of kindness in our interaction with the world. If we are in a state of distraction and disallowing of our own pain, we are unable to receive the vulnerability and suffering of others.

We live currently in a state of fear of mistakes, fear of brokenness, fear of loss, fear of death. Each of these are one half of a state of flow. Mistakes flow into innovation, brokenness enables healing, loss facilitates gain, death becomes life. This can simply be observed, it’s the nature of things.
Suffering transforms into contentment, contentment is highlighted and therefore appreciated in the context of suffering. Its strange to pretend that we can permanently eradicate one half of our wholeness. We only see it in halves because we forget about the nature of things. We experience things as though the world is made of stuck together pieces, but all things are in a state of Wholeness.

Currently the festering wound of white supremacy has flared up yet again in our world. This is a constant state of inflammation that has become chronic and has manifested as a diseased society. In order to receive the messages of pain that BIPOC people need to share, those of us who benefit from white privilege must enter a state of receptivity. We must listen, we must allow, we must be patient, we must be in the state of kindness. On a small scale this understanding manifests in interpersonal relationships all the time. If a person is unwilling to show up in a state of kindness, there will be war. The nature of war is to escalate, war only ends when attack and defence is given up, when combatants are both willing to listen, to allow, to be patient, to be kind. Listening means making space to hear things that will bring pain, discomfort and suffering. Every time a wound is met with war rather than kindness, the transformation of healing is held back. Kindness is a practice, it is a good habit, it is a muscle that we actively build. Each one of us, human beings all the same, has the potential to meet suffering with kindness. Kindness is a basic in-built principle of life, but first we must allow ourselves to be open to its good work.

It is well past time for the tyranny of constructed ideologies of hierarchy to end. Ideas of superiority and inferiority are something we made up, they have no intrinsic truth. Kindness however has intrinsic truth, and is available to us all. Perpetuating ideologies of racial hierarchy has no real and lasting benefit whatsoever to any human on earth. Those who benefit from privilege experience the poverty of a world at war. The short term comfort of benefiting at the expense of others is felt as fear of those others. Perpetuators of white supremacy fear the violences they visit upon BIPOC people so deeply that violence is enacted to keep repercussions at bay. White privilege is standing on the shoulders of our brethren who carry us over the shit, and then blame those brothers for the stench. People whose ancestors looted land from indigenous people fear outbreaks of looting. Dominant hierarchies who maintain order with violence will never stop fearing violence from those they control.

War is painful, perpetuating war is suffering, its time to listen, to be willing to suffer, to be willing to be uncomfortable, to heal this wound with kindness.

Published by habitatmeditation

Jessica Berry is a certified meditation facilitator. She has been studying Awareness and practicing meditation for more than 20 years. Her extensive training in art and design give her a unique perspective and this informs her writings under the theme of what she calls 'Noticing'.

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