To find, one must lose. To be born, one must die. To become connected, one must have been disconnected. To trust, one must be abandoned.
Our brains interpret experience using the tool of contrast. The way we perceive objects is through the play of shadow and light. It is important to notice that perception arises through the play of contrast. Experience arises not through entire darkness or entire light, but through the interplay of their contrast. This is electricity, this is life. It is the habit of thinking to focus on one aspect of a subject at a time. We think of it as either on or off, when really it is 0n+Off. When we are sad, it is because very soon we will be happy. When we become sick, the signs that tell us we are sick are also the signs of the process of healing. If we relax the habit of meaning making, we can have a wholistic experience of unity through contrast. Building the habit of meditation builds the space in which it is possible to be found through losing oneself. Oneness cannot be felt without the doorway of abandonment. Emptiness seems so terrifying to surrender to, but the good news is that emptiness is fullness, this is law, the nature of things, as they are one and the same.

Our brains helpfully create models to navigate life with. Some now theorise that consciousness itself is the ultimate model containing all models in the brain, in other words that consciousness itself is just another function of the brain. Its easy to consider that the device by which we apprehend existence considers itself to be the ultimate existence. It makes sense that the pattern identifier could be construed as the pattern maker. The pleasing thing about this is that even if the experience of existence is merely a construct of our brains, our brains contain the means to transcend their own construct, what a beautiful irony.

One of the purposes of the helpful brain tool of model making is to keep us safe. An experience of danger will build a reference model for us to refer to in possible similar future scenarios. This is helpful. Trouble is these safety models inhibit our creativity, for innovation is born out of chaos. Necessity may be the mother of invention, but chaos is the crucible. To be found, one must be lost.
As an artist I intimately understand that any creative project cannot be ultimately born without the vital stage of relinquishing control. An artist dances with the interplay of control and surrender, for they are one and the same. As a Being I intimately understand that to experience Oneness, I must become nothing. The helpful thing is that just as deep in the flow state of creativity one dances between control and chaos, deep in the Presence of Life one dances between something and nothing. So why do we fear losing control? It is because we forget that life is dancing.

Every day we are balancing and unbalancing in the simple act of walking. We experience presence and absence in the cycle of sleeping and waking. We experience our heart beat as a rhythm of holding and releasing. All music is the interplay of sound and silence. Art employs the communion of positive and negative space, light and shadow. Noticing this pattern, this law, is the foundation of building the trust needed to let go of fearing abandonment. This understanding is Kindness, as this level of Trust is the Grace that holds the fear of free falling. This Trust can hold us in our greatest despair. Ultimate control contains loss of control.

Right now we are in a time of forgetting what is right in front of us, the nature of things. We want always on, always controlled, always happy, always full, always go, always rich, always beautiful. Of course right now we are ridiculous, because this is simply not how life is, if only we remember to notice. Life is the dance between, the interplay. This is why we know that we must die, so we can have the opportunity to be fully Alive. We are so very impatient, trying to understand wholeness through a laser focus on the pieces of life.

Peace is noticing the Way. This understanding is the ultimate tool. It is the best and heartiest joke that will be eternally funny. We can be at peace knowing that when we are poor, we are in the state of potential to be rich. If we are alone, we are in the state of potential for company. Arriving implies that we were leaving. The true nature of a cup is in the dynamic flow between emptiness and fullness, not the singular state of either.

A warm welcome to my new subscribers! Writing is such a valuable tool for my own understanding process, it is very beautiful to see that ultimately what is written will be read, so here’s big hugs to my readers. If you enjoy the reading, don’t hesitate to invite new readers aboard my subscription.

Today’s bonus for my readers is a short story, ‘The story of the viewer’ a little esoteric journey. Download the pdf here

Published by habitatmeditation

Jessica Berry is a certified meditation facilitator. She has been studying Awareness and practicing meditation for more than 20 years. Her extensive training in art and design give her a unique perspective and this informs her writings under the theme of what she calls 'Noticing'.

3 thoughts on “Control

  1. Yet another insightful moment you’ve captured in text. Thanks Jess.

    This interplay between control and surrender seems to keep us amused to a degree does it not?

    How many cycles within cycles of this same thing do we inhabit on a day to day, or even life to life basis?

    We are the dynamic of the cup – I like this idea – the dynamic of the rise and the fall; not any one singular status of the cup in a single snapshot but the principle of movement.


    Liked by 1 person

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