The unsolvable problem of me
Every human is born with an inherent freedom. It is your Attention. I use capitalisation to point to the sense of your Attention as your true pronoun, the true name of your self. During this era of the attention economy, our attention is monetised, our intuitive body experience is enslaved by the obsessions of our mind identities and the power hungry of our world are capitalising on slavery as always. We’ve moved into an economy that is abstract, we transact entirely through symbols, power comes through winning the most attention, paying for clicks. Your birthright of freedom; your Attention, has been monetised.
This can be seen in a macrocosmic scale as the enslavement of the Earth to the agendas of power hungry humanity. The result in the body is disconnection, depression and disease. The result in the Earth is climate change, the legacy of the anthropocene.
Currently most of us are wholly enslaved to the agendas of the mind identity. Few of us have any experience of reality beyond the constant storytelling of the mind. What is this incredibly compelling story we can’t tear our attention from? It’s the story of Me. The mind as identity has ceased to be a team player. Your birthright, your truest self, your Attention, has been wholly given over to the insatiable problem solving quest of the mind identity.
When the mind identifies as a self, it experiences disconnection from source. Disconnection has a corresponding message from the body as emotions ranging from discomfort to despair, depending how chronic the disconnection is. The mind identity tries to solve this disconnection with what it knows best, thinking. Thinking can’t solve it. Only Connecting to Attention through turning attention away from thinking can resolve it. This turning is a learned helpful habit available to anyone.
If you are suffering your body experience has been enslaved by the agendas of the mind identity, disconnection from Source has occurred. All feelings of shame stem from the obsessive quest of the mind identity. Disconnected thinking is a habit. Habits can be slowly and gently changed.
The true role of the mind is translator. Matter is vibration, the mind translates experience into symbolic narrative. This is a beautiful, useful and appreciated function in the holism of the self experience, but currently your attention is wholly occupied with sorting and categorising symbolic narrative data in reference to your identity and responding to the corresponding sensations of emotion in the body. While the story of me is definitely a beautiful, terrible and compelling story, this is not the entirety of experience, as the activities of the mind arise within Attention. When in this suffering state of disconnection mundane attention has been co-opted into an urgent problem solving crisis from the perspective of the mind. What is this system emergency? Here is the biggest irony; the problem the mind is engaged in solving is itself. The mind created this problem and does not have what is needed to solve the problem of itself. This activity is inherently disconnected from your Source, your true Self, your Attention, and Attention has no problem with you! Thus the answer to the Problem of Me is connection to Attention, only every time.
We are addicted to searching for the self in the world and capitalising on addiction is an established addiction of the power hungry. Its like we are running through the streets searching for our reflection in shop windows to reassure ourselves that we actually exist. Each window reflects a different distortion of the me. The me believes it can only find itself in mirrors. The reflection in the mirror is not the source of the Self. The Self is found by turning away from the mirror. The turning is the key, the viewer of the reflection turns towards itself and finds Attention, the means to view. In this moment the problem of the self is no longer relevant, there is only Attention. Attention loves the world, Attention IS Love, the world arises within Attention. Attention loves the me AND its search for Me. Attention is unchanging, it gives a stable context to the perceived experience of changing. Thinking still translates experience into symbols, but now thinking is inspired, filled with the breath of the Spirit. Thinking is fulfilling its function, rather than turning on itself, it becomes turned on to Self.
The good news is that all of us can build a habit of connecting and being nourished by Attention.
We can learn how to notice, how to experience as the experiencer, how to be enfolded in the greatest context that gives rise to experience. This tool will assist in learning the art of turning your attention to Attention. Learning meditation is like learning to steer the tiller of a boat, gradually your body intuitively knows how to steer, grows to understand and feel the currents like a second sense. When connection to Source becomes a habit, something interesting happens. There is still an experience of the world, there is often still the entrenched habit of the problem of me to negotiate moment by moment, steering through the currents with your tiller as you sail through life. The thing is you are MET. You are no longer abandoned. You no longer need the world to love you and give you approval, you no longer need to win, you no longer need to struggle against failure, you no longer need to shame yourself into magnificence. The hero has realised Home was within every step of the journey.